4 reasons why Glastonbury shouldn’t have booked Coldplay

It was revealed yesterday that Coldplay, the kings of gold standard average music, are set to headline the Sunday slot at Worthy Farm. I think this is a lazy and predictable decision for the following reasons.

1) Coldplay have headlined the festival 3 times already.

For a start the band have headlined the festival on an average of every 4-5 years since 2002. Of course this isn’t Coldplay’s fault as the Eavis family are the ones booking the band but this surely shows a lack of imagination and thought going into arguably the World’s biggest festival, at this moment in time. Glastonbury is meant to showcase a variety of musical talent and by resorting to Coldplay as the first announced headliners they have truly contradicted the image of their festival. Who actually sat down and said that it would be a great idea to have Coldplay coming to Glastonbury for a seventh time and the fourth time as a headliner?

2) Coldplay are playing 4 Wembley Stadium dates this summer.

Coldplay have a massive summer ahead of them. With a huge tour that covers three major continents, their true fans from the U.K could catch them at one of their seven major stadium dates. So why did Emily and Michael Evis feel the need to book them when they will be performing to 532,000 fans this summer in England and Scotland alone? It will just be the same set over and over again and yes they may have a couple of guest appearances but who from? Beyonce and Rihanna? Haven’t we seen enough of this celebrity culture forced upon us music fans?

cod play

3) WE NEED NEW HEADLINERS

Coldplay headlining Glastonbury annoys me as there are so many spectacular bands that would equally step up and perform a spine tingling, hair raising and headline worthy performance. Look at Massive Attack for example, a long with Portishead, they were the pioneers of the Bristol Trip-Hop scene and have just released a stunning ep featuring the likes of Tricky, Young Fathers and Roots Manuva. With many other great albums under their belt it is about time that Glasto were brave enough to give bands like Massive Attack the chance to make a name for themselves on the highest of international platforms. How is modern music going to evolve if festivals don’t give a variety of bands the chance to headline? Franz Ferdinand are another great example of an outfit that could create a brilliant performance, especially as they are just as big as the likes of Kasabian and would undoubtedly give a better performance than Chris Martin and co.

dick head

4) Coldplay are nothing but mediocre

If I could compare the booking of Coldplay to anything then it would be like going to a service station with your family wanting a McDonalds but getting a cold sandwich from WH Smiths. Or alternatively going to get some biscuits from the cupboard and seeing digestives instead of custard creams, it’s nothing but a disappointment. Coldplay’s target audience are 30-40 year olds who want to stay current and act like they have musical interests when really they have none at all. People say that your music taste represents your personality and this is worrying considering how many people seem to say they like Coldplay. They will perform a set that critics will say they love but have seen time and time again over the past 14 years, they’ll be nothing special but offer a near satisfactory set that viewers will fall asleep to after 15 minutes and wake up for ‘Paradise’ as an encore.

It’s a shame that Coldplay are the first booking for this year’s Glastonbury but it seems to have satisfied some festival goers; we are just going to have to hope for a better Friday and Saturday night booking. Maybe the Eavis family need to go back to their roots and think about why they started this festival in the first place?

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